Outside

You always see this in a reunion film where a character dreads to go into this kind of gathering, oftentimes - a high school reunion.   I think that was me last night, not that I don't enjoy bonding time, in fact I usually initiate this type of activity with of course my personal cliques.

But I cannot put into words what I have felt at a mini high school reunion which happened last night.  

I felt disconnected and kept analyzing why I am feeling this way. 

Have I gone too proud of my status? 
Have I outgrown them and the stories they are sharing? 
Am I envious of them because they have kids?
Or may be at this stage, I prefer intimate get together?
Maybe I am not the center of attention?
Has life become too boring for me and I have got nothing to talk about?
Probably this is due to lack of sleep and rest?
Possible also I did not like the food or venue?
Maybe I am just being old - grumpy and snob?
A stranger treatment perhaps?

I just cannot simply identify.  An unusual way since I am always in touch with my emotions. Whatever it was, I hope it's an isolated case - nothing more than that.

Wait... could it be that I will always be somewhere on the outside?